Just Joking
Constipated BuilderA builder goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm constipated."
The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, "Lean over the table." The builder leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the arse with a cricket bat, and then sends him into the toilet. He comes out a few minutes later and says, "Doc, I feel great. What should I do?" The doctor says, "Stop wiping your arse with cement bags."
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A warm moist place
A man goes into a restaurant and orders soup. When the waiter brings out the bowl he has his thumb stuck in the soup, but the customer decides to let it go.
"Would you like anything else?" the waiter inquires. "We have some very good roast beef today."
"Sounds good," says the customer.
So the waiter goes off and comes back with a plate of roast beef, and his thumb is in the gravy.
The customer is getting annoyed now, but decides to hold his tongue.
"How about some hot apple pie?" asks the waiter. "Fine," says the customer. The waiter returns with his thumb stuck in the pie.
Now the customer is really getting furious. "Coffee?" asks the waiter, and when the customer nods yes, he hurries off. He returns with his thumb stuck in the cup of coffee.
By now the customer can no longer restrain himself. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Every time you've come to the table you've had your thumb stuck in my food!" "I've got an infection and my doctor told me to keep my thumb in a hot, moist place."
"Why don't you just stick it up your arse?"
"Where do you think I put it when I'm in the kitchen?"
"Would you like anything else?" the waiter inquires. "We have some very good roast beef today."
"Sounds good," says the customer.
So the waiter goes off and comes back with a plate of roast beef, and his thumb is in the gravy.
The customer is getting annoyed now, but decides to hold his tongue.
"How about some hot apple pie?" asks the waiter. "Fine," says the customer. The waiter returns with his thumb stuck in the pie.
Now the customer is really getting furious. "Coffee?" asks the waiter, and when the customer nods yes, he hurries off. He returns with his thumb stuck in the cup of coffee.
By now the customer can no longer restrain himself. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Every time you've come to the table you've had your thumb stuck in my food!" "I've got an infection and my doctor told me to keep my thumb in a hot, moist place."
"Why don't you just stick it up your arse?"
"Where do you think I put it when I'm in the kitchen?"
